Fidgeting frustrations

• 

It was a long day Tuesday:

Morning, afternoon and evening appointments. Was so helpful having Mr S with me for the day appointments. I was sitting with the cannula hanging out of my arm after having the dye put in and he kindly went to the machine and got me a cup of coffee… that’s why I brought him … a good support.

The woman next to me asked how the dye experience was as she was terribly nervous I tried to reassure her. 

Then Mr S  returned with my coffee a mixture of emotions, exclaiming the machine promised  chicken soup, Mr S fancied a chicken soup, Mr S was devastated the machine failed to produce chicken soup. ( I use no hyperbole ) 

I tried to console him, whilst sipping my coffee and reassuring my nervous neighbour  however all I could sense was Mr S and his fidgeting frustrations, the extending of his neck to peek down the corridor. Then came the announcement that he was off to check on the car. I could hear the deceit in his voice. We both knew the real reason for his abandoning me in a waiting room … he was hunting down alternative chicken soup purveying machinery. 

Within minutes a shadow of his former self,  he returned to announce no machines were providing soup today…

I wished the nervous woman luck as she was called in to be pumped with dye. The look of pity for me and the warm sympathetic two hands over my one farewell gesture said it all ….. being pumped with dye was preferable to her than remaining with us.

I turned back to Mr S, the lack of chicken soup so temptingly promised like a siren in Greek mythology, cruelly denied him, had rendered him silent as he came to terms with his fate, that here, in this hospital  no machine was willing to relinquish soup of poultry variety.

I’m taking a book with me  next time.

In the evening I went to a show and tell with my sister re my operation. She was what I can only state as rather over enthusiastic to discover an M&S  food hall in the hospital we checked the time …. five minutes to have a quick run round those food aisles then up to area green 121. What is it about my family and food in hospitals?

We met an amazing group of women prepared to talk about their experiences of breast cancer and reconstruction. 

Bit weird at first as all of them standing around with gowns open showing the reality of the final results of the procedures I am about to embark upon.

We learnt a lot from speaking to these women and I was even  allowed to touch one reconstruction. So empowering I made my mind up immediately that I too want to do this …. not stand around with boobs out all day, or indeed touching every false boob I meet … well maybe…. but help others once I’m on the other side of it all as well.

Much to my sisters delight we were finished 10 mins before M&S closed so whilst she considered the merits of a chicken and ham sandwich I had a quick go on the grapefruits. Any excuse to rummage !